Always listen to the two sides of every story. We each see things from our own point of view. For example, in an old song sung by Fred Astaire, “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off!” from the movie, Shall We Dance (1937), he and Ginger Rogers bicker about the proper way to say words. It is obvious that they don’t agree. Yet, each has a unique point of view.
The song is a light-hearted ditty that shows us that we can work things out despite our differences.
Watch “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off”.
I’ve always loved how musicals simplify life’s troubles. However, in stark contrast, real life disagreements are not that simple. Coming to a consensus requires deep communication, listening, empathy, and an examination of problems and biases.
Here are a few questions to think about. How many of you have a friend with whom you disagree on certain issues? How do you resolve this? What do you do to overcome these different points of view?
We all know that there are heavy concerns in our society right now that have destroyed friendships. For instance, I know several friends who have lost a friend over a political matter. Likewise, some of them have offended friends on social media.
Why do people let these things happen? Our relationships with our friends should matter more than a contentious debate.
So, in light of our society’s inability to see the two sides to every story, I have a few suggestions to avoid making these missteps that have destroyed friendships.
1. Avoid Posting politics and religion on Social Media
In addition, avoid all controversial subjects on social media. Social media should be a place to laugh and share recipes and pictures with people you don’t see very often. Save your “fire and brimstone speeches” for the friends that will meet up at the bar or at home. These are the friends that know and love you, and understand that you are ranting and raving out of frustration. Hopefully afterward, you will feel better and apologize for your behavior. Better yet, you might have a real discussion about why you have that point of view.
2. Reserve Judgment when you hear the other side of the story
Take for example, you are having an ordinary conversation with someone and then, they utter a belief that you despise. Take three very deep breaths and listen as if the person speaking is your mother or father. Give that human the respect to voice their thoughts and feelings. Listen to their side and reserve your judgment. Allow what they say to sink in for a moment. After they finish, you may still disagree but at least you allowed them to share their own unique point of view. Not only did you listen to a friend but also you may have learned something new.
3. BE OPEN TO LEARN ABOUT THE OTHER Points of view
Moreover, open your mind to many other viewpoints. Understand the whys and wherefores of your particular debate in question. Not to mention, if you find yourself in debate you will have a better grasp on your friend’s point of view. The old expression still rings true, “Walk a mile in another man’s (or woman’s) shoes”. Study the situation from another point of view with empathy. Looking at this carefully may reveal what you never knew about it. Maybe for the first time, you may understand why. Then, maybe conversations will become more constructive than destructive.
4. Choose Reliable Resources
Choose your resources with care when studying other sides of the story. Facts support an argument better than stories or anecdotes. For instance, you may have heard a story about someone or some situation that you feel proves your point. Anecdotes are good starting points for a conversation, but they never take the place of the facts. Case in point, your best friend’s uncle fell off a ladder. Because of this mishap, you distrust ladders. What if you fall? The fact is that ladders are very reliable when they are used properly and safely. My ladder story demonstrates that using an anecdote when trying to prove a point in a dispute is weak. Its best use is for thoughtful discussion about the situation.
5. Friendship is Thicker than Conflict
Finally, do not allow disagreements to tear your friendships apart. The bond of friendship should be cherished. So, I say in all seriousness to save your friendships. Listen to the two sides of every story with respect, learn with empathy, and grow together with love for one another through the years.
Have another look at My Favorite Heartwarming and Uplifting Quotes
