Look at nearly every headline today and you will think that the world has gone mad. Mental health is at an all-time low and the conversations we hear are often about how stressed and depressed our friends and neighbors feel. We pick up on this negativity and it tears apart our peace. However, we all have the power to overcome the negativity and navigate through to find balance and clarity.
When you ground yourself, you have a firm foundation. This is where you have balance and clarity. So, what is your firm foundation? How do you stay rooted when the world is falling to pieces around you? Let me share my story.
Around 20 years ago, the unthinkable happened to me: my husband confessed that he loved me as well as another woman. Before I could try to fix it, he packed his bags and told me that he would leave and go somewhere to figure out what to do. He moved into her house. I had been suspecting something was wrong for a month, but I refused to believe that this could ever happen. Yet, here I was. We had 15 years of marriage and four children together, and I had believed that we were happy.
My world seemed destroyed at the time. Daily tasks seemed meaningless, so I spent a lot of that time in my room crying. I had conversations with friends and family who tried to encourage me, so after a week I tried to put my best foot forward and pack his things to help him move out since that is what he wanted. Then he told me that he wanted the kids’ social security numbers because he was talking to a lawyer. I fell to pieces again. My home was falling apart all around me because my husband wanted a divorce.
Over a period of months, I went through the torturous process of separation and divorce but I refused to be the victim. I had long believed that our love was my foundation, but I was wrong. My love for my family was my strength. When I changed this perspective, my goals changed and I worked proactively to protect my family and nourish it so that we could overcome this terrible event that disrupted our lives. I had lost my husband and the love that we had, but I found strength and love within myself to continue to love and protect my family. This helped me to find balance and clarity so I could ground myself.
Everyone can find a firm foundation. We can ground ourselves in different ways. Some meditate and ground themselves by looking for peace deep within themselves. Guided meditation can also be very helpful. There are several that can be searched for on YouTube. As for anxiety and severe mental stress, I recommend techniques such as 5-4-3-2-1 coping technique for anxiety or the excellent article, Grounding techniques for Coping with PTSD and Anxiety. These are a good place to start, but check in with a mental health professional to seek consistent and therapeutic support when necessary.
The bottom line of my story and lesson is that you should always love yourself. You have value and worth. Always believe that you will find your way, even when times are difficult. The world may fall apart around you, but find a way to stay grounded and rooted. Finding strength will help keep balance and clarity in your life.
Have you listened to your body health cues lately? I don’t mean the cues that your stomach is growling telling you that you are hungry. Of course, we all understand simple cues like a yawn. Specifically, tuning into your body cues can help you to improve your health. In other words, think of it like a tune-up. Just like we maintenance our cars, we need to tune-up our health.
To demonstrate how I tune into my body health, I sit on a yoga mat cross-legged. If you don’t have a yoga mat, sitting on a chair with your feet flat on the floor will do just as well. Place your hands on your knees and close your eyes. Then, as you breathe in through your nose and exhale from you mouth, allow your mind to focus on your body. Breathe and exhale three times and take a mental inventory of aches/pains or other physical feelings. For example, perhaps an area of the body is tingling, has tightness or a warm sensation. This tune in may take some practice, but the idea is to learn to block outside distractions while centering the attention on your body’s health.
By all means, if your meditation reveals a more alarming pain, certainly seek medical help to improve your body’s health. Physical therapy can be a great choice to work on healing physical pain. But, sometimes we don’t need to go that route. Having said that, I primarily use the tune in meditation to slow down my mind and detect where I have aches. Once found, my favorite go to for healing are the meridian exercises on Brain Education TV. Similarly, Yoga Journal: Poses by Benefit has a wonderful library of yoga information if yoga is your thing.
Building strength and flexibility is the goal to building a strong, healthy body. Of course, we all want to remain strong as we grow older. So, the sooner we tune into our body cues, the better off we will be as we age. Ultimately, beginning the good habit of listening to your body will lead to better health so you can work on building strength.
The future looks exciting as we move down a new path toward great opportunities. Certainly, 2020 has been both a scary and frustrating year. Moreover, 2021 doesn’t seem to be much better. But, there are new opportunities for anyone that has the vision to see possibility.
2020: the year of Renovation brings about a new Path
Last year, the Pandemic ravaged our world and tore down the structures that framed our society. In fact, there has been a collective struggle as the familiar has been seemingly destroyed. In spite of all the upheaval, we now have a new path to the future. Think of it as a makeover. The world is going through a reconstruction. Moreover, change brought by devastation can bring renewal. Imagine how you can use this for your advantage.
Have you heard the expression, “If someone gives you lemons, make lemonade”? In like manner, turning disadvantages into opportunities means thinking outside the box. Many of us are experiencing hardship. It’s time to evaluate our options and forge a new path. For instance, you may see injustice. Use your voice through blog or v-blog to create activism. Equally important, you may have lost a job. You could create a business. What products or services can you produce that may serve others in this time of need? Similarly, it may be time to reimagine your career path and work smarter, not harder. Sometimes the past no longer serves us, so we need to move forward to build a new future.
Where do we go from here? Finding possibility in a new world
First of all, ask yourself the questions, “What do you want in your future? What do I need to get there? How long will it take?” These answers will help you set goals that will direct your path. Then, organize the steps you need to achieve your plan. Next, set the plan in motion. If problems come up, and they will, re-evaluate and restructure your plan. Don’t give up. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes hard work and perseverance to reach success. Finally, if you need inspiration, read here about people who failed before they succeeded. Good luck! Make your future happen!
Covid-19 has impacted me personally. My readers may have wondered why I haven’t been posting to my blog. I haven’t written since last month because my husband and I became sick from Covid-19. Michigan’s infection cases have risen due to the variants and other factors, and it spread to my husband’s work. Fortunately due to the mask mandate, we had a mild illness that lasted two weeks. However, it was two weeks that I would have gladly traded in for the vaccine that I had previously scheduled. During the past several days, I decided to share my experience so you may learn from it. I want to caution my readers that if their case is more severe, you should go to your local ER. Otherwise, the purpose of this post is to inform and advise you should you get sick from this terrible virus.
For the past year, we have been very careful. We masked up and social distanced. But seriously, I thought my husband had his yearly congested cold. It was mid-March and he had a severe cough. He stayed home from work that Friday and I bought chicken noodle soup and herbal teas to nurse him back to health. When he returned to work on Monday, he texted me early that morning that other workers tested for Covid-19. He needed to get a Covid-19 test. The next question caused me to pause, “Do you want to get tested too?” At first, I resisted. I had allergies and it was Spring, so I told him no. Soon afterword, I changed my mind. Shortly after we got our test, I had chills. Could this be Covid-19? The results came the next day. It was Covid-19.
I had read extensively about Covid-19, and I was nervous. Common sense told me to treat my symptoms as I would for any other illness. Over the first week, my symptoms changed in variation daily. Sometimes I experienced chills and fatigue, while other days I had diarrhea or sinus headache. We ate normally, stayed hydrated, and supplemented with vitamins C and Echinacea, anything that could help us fight the virus. I took whatever medication that seemed appropriate for the symptom. I tried meridian exercises to help move any blockage in my body. Yet, this was not like any cold or flu that I ever had. Usually, I know what symptoms I will experience and how I will manage through it. But, I felt like it was attacking my weakest points. Then, I reached my turning point.
At the second week, I was severely fatigued. Strangely, I experienced a couple days with no taste or smell. Moreover, I couldn’t eat and began to cough and choke on phlegm. How I soothed myself in the first week wasn’t working anymore. I needed to rest and let my body do the fighting against the virus. As a result, my temperature soared and I was very weak and confused. This was very scary. At this point, I did not know how to control my Covid-19 symptoms. I was resting, but it wasn’t a healing rest. Somehow, I managed to remember my thermometer and found that I was at 101.8 degrees. I was frightened. At that moment, my daughter sent me pictures of my grandchildren. I began to cry. What if I needed to go to the hospital? I took Tylenol and was able to bring my temperature down to 100.4.
Over the course of two days, I had a low-grade temperature. This was followed by three days of my usual 97.4 temperature. Meanwhile, my husband had hardly experienced my wide range of Covid-19 symptoms. He had mostly low-grade temperatures, severe coughing, and one sweat-soaked night. As I entered my worst phase of the Covid-19 illness, he was getting fidgety with boredom. Nonetheless, he took care of me as I got better before he ended his quarantine and returned to work.
My own experience, as well as the stories of other family who had Covid-19, convinces me that we all experience the virus differently in accordance to our own weakness. It is possible to survive this illness, but you need to listen closely to your body. I have read what the science says about the virus and I agree. Most importantly, in case of shortness of breath, blueish lips or face, persistent chest pain, and/or new confusion or inability to wake or stay awake, go to the ER of your local hospital. There are now treatments that can help, such as monoclonal antibodies. We were very lucky that we didn’t experience severe symptoms and need to go to the hospital. I urge everyone to stay safe out there. As soon as possible, we plan to make a vaccine appointment and I strongly suggest that you do as well.
The question is how do we revitalize our personal lives in a stressful world? As if the daily hustle of life weren’t already tough, this past year has raised the bar. Each day we have been challenged in navigating this pandemic. To say nothing of the pressure and burdens that have cost us tremendously, it is important to be mindful of our health. As a matter of fact, the answer is as simple as how healthy we keep our mind and body.
First of all, high social media usage can cause stress and anxiety. A simple Google search will show you that there are several search results about the negative impact of social media. Take for example the Facebook algorithm. It will bring you more of the stories you consume on its network. Inevitably, choosing a questionable article can change the type of posts that you might see in your news feed. Once you go down that rabbit hole, it may be difficult to change the reading habits that you’ve begun.
Furthermore, time spent on the Internet may also kill your productivity. It can become a crutch where you mindlessly scroll, realizing too late that hours have flown by and you haven’t completed your tasks.
Therefore, the best line of defense would be to limit your time on social media and the Internet. Begin by changing your habits and setting the timer. Over the course of three weeks, lower your time spent here and set goals to place your focus on projects that you value.
Moreover, choose better reading material. Read a novel for pleasure or seek knowledge from self-improvement books. Exchange the often times stressful pursuit of the mindless scroll for reading with the purpose of destressing. In my opinion, escaping reality for an hour or two in a novel is a good use of anyone’s time. As a result, you will revitalize your mind and ease the stress from a chaotic day.
Try Mindful Movement to alleviate Stress and Anxiety
Secondly, physical activity relieves stress and anxiety. It stimulates the release of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin; thereby, raising your mood. Exercising helps lower the strain and tension of our hectic lives. Recently, I’ve included mindful movement to my workout regimen. I am very happy to share the results of this life-changing experience.
To begin, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure several years ago as a result of job-related stress and anxiety. My doctor has prescribed medication with varied results. Despite retiring from teaching, my stress level has not been completely resolved. So, I decided to rededicate myself to some type of physical exercise. While working on my post in January this year, I renewed my interest in yoga and mindfulness meditation. Because of the pandemic, I chose to look for enlightenment on YouTube.com and discovered Brain Education TV where I found a video on high blood pressure.
Specifically, mindful movement includes a series of exercises focusing on different areas of the body. The instructor teaches breathing and movement to move or release energy and blockage. I have saved many of the videos concerning the areas that I needed to work on. Over a period of six weeks, I have made it a habit to revitalize through exercise for 20 minutes and as a result my flexibility and strength have greatly improved. For that reason, I look forward to my exercise time as it has given me much more energy and a vastly improved mood.
Final Thoughts
Lastly, I encourage you to revitalize your mind and body as we navigate through this stressful pandemic. Just as we eat nutritious foods to grow healthy and strong, we need to feed our mind and body with all manner of good content to keep them strong and fit. So, read to keep your mind full of positive thoughts and optimism. Move your body to stay in good physical condition and keep your spirits up. Most important, remember to mask up, stay healthy, and believe that we will get through this soon!
My name is Kathy, and welcome to my home online. I’m excited to share my thoughts with you and I hope you find something useful here. Whether you come here to learn organizational skills, motivations techniques, or reading an encouraging life lesson, there is always something to inspire! This is my first blog, but I … Continue reading A Blog of Encouragement and Motivation
Just last month I heard that a childhood friend had passed away unexpectedly. It was particularly shocking since she was only 51, a well-loved teacher in her community. It didn’t seem fair that such a good person should leave this earth-plane so soon. Her warmth and giving attitude made a difference in so many students’ lives. Her gift of love to her students gave them strength and helped them to find faith in themselves.
These past couple weeks I’ve mulled over what I could say to honor her. We were both teachers of the Arts and Communication. Though I had recently retired, I have been using my voice to find other avenues to teach. She was still in the trenches, during one of the most challenging and difficult periods ever surmounted by teaching professionals.
So here it is, just after Valentine’s day, a day we celebrate love. Angie was love. She was thoughtful, giving, selfless, and warm. She saw her students and gave them the attention they needed.
I see you Angie, and I celebrate your heart full of purest, selfless love.
I celebrate our friendship and remember the camaraderie of a time when we were young, singing the song “Friends”, by Michael W. Smith.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could celebrate life by giving love to those in our circle while we are here. Not only the people in our homes, but also our co-workers, neighbors, the people we see at the grocery store or bank. Just a smile, a wave, a kind word–you get the idea. It’s the little things that count. Practice kindness and caring to all human beings in your sight. We don’t know what another person is going through and a little warmth may lighten the drudge from their day. It could bring sunshine when moments before they experienced a personal storm.
This life is always busy, and too often we zoom through and forget the moment. Then, it’s too late.
So, I would like to challenge my readers to make a difference. Give some love to the people in your circle. You have the power to make a difference in another person’s life by showing compassion, care, forgiveness, and the greatest of these is love.
Always listen to the two sides of every story. We each see things from our own point of view. For example, in an old song sung by Fred Astaire, “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off!” from the movie, Shall We Dance (1937), he and Ginger Rogers bicker about the proper way to say words. It is obvious that they don’t agree. Yet, each has a unique point of view.
The song is a light-hearted ditty that shows us that we can work things out despite our differences.
I’ve always loved how musicals simplify life’s troubles. However, in stark contrast, real life disagreements are not that simple. Coming to a consensus requires deep communication, listening, empathy, and an examination of problems and biases.
Here are a few questions to think about. How many of you have a friend with whom you disagree on certain issues? How do you resolve this? What do you do to overcome these different points of view?
We all know that there are heavy concerns in our society right now that have destroyed friendships. For instance, I know several friends who have lost a friend over a political matter. Likewise, some of them have offended friends on social media.
Why do people let these things happen? Our relationships with our friends should matter more than a contentious debate.
So, in light of our society’s inability to see the two sides to every story, I have a few suggestions to avoid making these missteps that have destroyed friendships.
1. Avoid Posting politics and religion on Social Media
photo by Tracy Le Blanc
In addition, avoid all controversial subjects on social media. Social media should be a place to laugh and share recipes and pictures with people you don’t see very often. Save your “fire and brimstone speeches” for the friends that will meet up at the bar or at home. These are the friends that know and love you, and understand that you are ranting and raving out of frustration. Hopefully afterward, you will feel better and apologize for your behavior. Better yet, you might have a real discussion about why you have that point of view.
2. Reserve Judgment when you hear the other side of the story
photo by Magda Ehlers
Take for example, you are having an ordinary conversation with someone and then, they utter a belief that you despise. Take three very deep breaths and listen as if the person speaking is your mother or father. Give that human the respect to voice their thoughts and feelings. Listen to their side and reserve your judgment. Allow what they say to sink in for a moment. After they finish, you may still disagree but at least you allowed them to share their own unique point of view. Not only did you listen to a friend but also you may have learned something new.
3. BE OPEN TO LEARN ABOUT THE OTHER Points of view
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio
Moreover, open your mind to many other viewpoints. Understand the whys and wherefores of your particular debate in question. Not to mention, if you find yourself in debate you will have a better grasp on your friend’s point of view. The old expression still rings true, “Walk a mile in another man’s (or woman’s) shoes”. Study the situation from another point of view with empathy. Looking at this carefully may reveal what you never knew about it. Maybe for the first time, you may understand why. Then, maybe conversations will become more constructive than destructive.
4. Choose Reliable Resources
Photo by Suzy Hazelwood
Choose your resources with care when studying other sides of the story. Facts support an argument better than stories or anecdotes. For instance, you may have heard a story about someone or some situation that you feel proves your point. Anecdotes are good starting points for a conversation, but they never take the place of the facts. Case in point, your best friend’s uncle fell off a ladder. Because of this mishap, you distrust ladders. What if you fall? The fact is that ladders are very reliable when they are used properly and safely. My ladder story demonstrates that using an anecdote when trying to prove a point in a dispute is weak. Its best use is for thoughtful discussion about the situation.
5. Friendship is Thicker than Conflict
Photo by Cottonbro
Finally, do not allow disagreements to tear your friendships apart. The bond of friendship should be cherished. So, I say in all seriousness to save your friendships. Listen to the two sides of every story with respect, learn with empathy, and grow together with love for one another through the years.
Don’t forget to make room for inner peace and healing in your life when you make your New Year’s resolutions this year! Maybe the pace of last year was too hectic and left you exhausted. Perhaps you felt the year was full of anxiety. Whatever the reason, creating inner peace and healing needs to be a priority on your list this year.
Today, I looked at my new 2021 calendar and read a quote by the Australian-born novelist, Elizabeth von Arnim.
“There is nothing so absolutely bracing for the soul as the frequent turning of one’s back on duties.”
Elizabeth von Arnim, The Adventures of Elizabeth in Rügen
I took a moment to take that quote in because the words “turning of one’s back on duties” puzzled me. As a mother of four and a teacher of 33 years, duty has been reveille.
It was the word bracing that put the quote in perspective. Bracing is fresh and invigorating. Now how about that? Turning away from duty often refreshes the soul. It is a breath of fresh air. There is nothing wrong about that!
How should I Refresh my soul?
To begin, it is my intent to help people heal from heart troubles and hardship. As we all work to find our way to healing and peace, I hope that my suggestions are met with an open heart and mind. In this post, I will examine three areas of “refreshing the soul” to find inner peace and healing: prayer, mindfulness meditation, and yoga.
Firstly, prayer is an important spiritual path to healing and peace. People of all faiths have used prayer to seek help from God and access spiritual intervention.
There are several studies that focus on healing prayer for oneself or others. For instance, there is a practice of healing called the “laying of hands” used in healing prayer.
Nearly nine of 10 Americans have relied upon healing prayer at some point in their lives, praying for others even more than for themselves, according to a study by a Baylor University epidemiologist.
Baylor University. “Most Americans pray for healing; more than one-fourth have practiced ‘laying on of hands’: People pray for others’ health more than for their own, study finds.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 18 April 2016. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/04/160418095151.htm>.
Though there are studies that try to prove the power of prayer, they are considered deficient. It comes down to the faith of the one who prays to access comfort and healing.
Have you ever read a friend’s post on social media asking for prayer for a loved one? More than likely, you have answered your friend that you were praying for them. The simple act of reaching out and praying for one another is in itself a a healing and loving act. As a result, we reaffirm peace and healing in ourselves with love for our community.
Does it matter how we pray? There are both traditional and improvised prayers. Most importantly, the prayers that bring healing and peace often come from the heart.
Secondly, mindfulness is a subset of meditation that has gained much popularity in recent years. Meditation is a technique through which one may consciously focus their thoughts to achieve a calm state of being.
Studies to date suggest that mindfulness affects many aspects of our psychological well-being—improving our mood, increasing positive emotions, and decreasing our anxiety, emotional reactivity, and job burnout.
Jill Suttie. “Five Ways Mindfulness Meditation Is Good for Your Health.” Greater Good, greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_mindfulness_meditation_is_good_for_your_health.
I once worked at a school where mindfulness was a part of the regular professional in-services to help the teachers become more productive. Anyone who is a teacher will tell you that it is a demanding job, not for the faint-hearted. Students need your 150% attention and compassion, probably more than the knowledge of your field.
During the months that I subbed for the school’s music teacher, I participated in training which typically concluded with a mindfulness activity. During the exercise it was necessary to focus on something such as a your breath, sounds, or thoughts.
Over the weeks that I participated, I built up “muscles” that I didn’t know I had. By focusing on my goal I was able to have greater self-awareness. In addition, the activity itself was a act of self-care. It allowed me to pull together my emotional, mental, and physical strength before my long and busy day.
There are many books and websites devoted to mindfulness meditation. Therefore, it can be quite overwhelming to find a starting point.
I recommend the site headspace – Meditation for beginners here.
After that you explore the beginners page, check out headspace – Mindfulness page here.
Finally, the practice of yoga may help to refresh the soul. It is a spiritual practice that is historically linked to meditation in ancient times. Yoga arrived in America over 100 years ago and became more popular in the last 50 years.
I have always been fascinated by mystique of yoga. Picture the peaceful candlelit rooms with soothing, tranquil music. Imagine flowing from one pose to the next as your shadow moves against the wall of the room. There is a calmness about this setting that is relaxing.
Studies have suggested possible benefits of yoga for several aspects of wellness, including stress management, mental/emotional health, promoting healthy eating/activity habits, sleep, and balance.
“Yoga: What You Need To Know.” Edited by Inna Belfer and David Shurtleff, National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, May 2019, www.nccih.nih.gov/health/yoga-what-you-need-to-know#:~:text=What%20are%20the%20health%20benefits,back%20pain%20and%20neck%20pain.
Through much sweat and discipline, I learned that the harmony of that soothing environment reflects the balance of both the mind and body. Yoga creates that inner peace that radiates healing.
Like meditation, there are many videos and blogs out there. You can start by looking for beginner videos to guide your practice.
I began at a local yoga studio, Body Language Fitness and Yoga Center where teachers helped me develop my skill. Check your local listings to find a nearby yoga center.
Final Thoughts
Are you ready to refresh your soul? Remember that the key is to turn your back on your duties and put yourself first.
Turn off the stress of the outside world and tend to your needs as if your life depends on it. Find your way to peace and healing to begin to build a stronger you.
This is the time of the year when we focus on others. We strive to forgive and uplift ourselves and our families. It is the season that we see much greenery and sparkle in our annual holiday decorations. We also celebrate with food and music, which is sure to lighten our spirits.
The truth is that we really need to focus on this message this year. Honestly, it is that much harder to celebrate than in past years. There has been much loss and pain.
My heart is heavy for all of you that feel this pain. I send you much love and light to help lift you out of your darkness. Also, I wish for each of us a much better year in 2021.
This brings me to the point of today’s post: the mindset of gratitude. How does one stay positive and keep this in their forefront of their mind?
It begins with asking yourself, “what are you grateful for?”
I asked myself that question as I shopped at my favorite store today. It was an ordinary shopping day and my mind wandered as I made my selections. I passed through the cleaning aisle and noted the full shelf of disinfectant wipes. Now here was a sight I hadn’t seen this for months since the great toilet paper shortage.
I don’t know how the pandemic presented itself in your community, but in my hometown people began to buy toilet paper like it was going out of style. Other necessities that disappeared from the shelves included the disinfectant wipes, hand sanitizer, and bleach. Over the last several months I struggled to find disinfectant wipes. So, seeing a full shelf today was surprising.
It was in that moment that I had an epiphany. I stopped and looked at my surroundings and was struck by the abundant shelves of food and necessities. We have so much abundance and are so blessed. I mean it could be so much worse. But, we are able to come in and still make our purchases.
Yes, I know there are people that are having problems, but please hear me out. It begins with gratefulness. From there we must have vision to bring abundance to ourselves and others.
If you believe you have nothing, you will have nothing. But the practice of the positive mindset of gratitude makes a difference.
I decided a long time ago that I would rather be happy, so I work very hard to remain optimistic and keep a positive mindset.
This does not mean that I am happy all the time. Nor does it mean that I don’t have challenges that have knocked me down.
What it does mean is that I work very hard to keep a positive mindset and lift my vibration. We all have challenges and we don’t always land on our feet. Yet there are things we can do to ensure that we remain centered and in control. We have our hearts and minds and bodies. We can control what we already have and work to use what we have to uplift ourselves and others.
Here are a few suggestions on how you can keep a positive mindset
This is only a short list, but hopefully you get the idea. The more time you spend in gratefulness and positivity, the more you lift yourself out of your problems and think about helping your fellow human beings. I know that we could all make better use of our time this holiday season lifting each other’s loads.
